Thursday 27 October 2016

The Affair by Sue Hickey and Philippa Sklaar


Sue Hickey is a psychologist, and Philippa Sklaar a domestic abuse and affair survivor. This book is a compilation of thoughts, reflections and stories from inside the minds of the Narcissistic Cheater, the Sexual Predator and the Romance Addict - the profiles of those who cheat.

"I know that cheating has nothing to do with loving or not loving, but it does destroy love, among other things" is a great example of the type of honesty and truth found here. 

"Finally I learnt that this obsessive search for details was an itch I did not need to scratch. What I really needed was my dignity and common sense, both of which were lost in the witch hunt."

That is what makes this book brave and unique - it tells stories from both sides of the betrayal fence without judgement and (mostly) in the safety of anonymity. Whilst you're gaping with incredulity at the shocking lies other people tell themselves and their committed partners, you can't help admiring the personal growth in admitting and sometimes dealing with the issues. And if you want to go there, while you're at it, you can also start to face some of the very demons you're reading about. That's the power of good story. We're all human, and fallible. Potential for evil and harm, seen in another, can reflect and expose parts of us we didn't notice before. Dealing with our own brown matter makes us better at doing relationships.

My favourite part of reading this book with its gorgeous creepy cover was the looks I got while doing so. I could see the minds ticking, and I fought many a smile. I think I'll keep it in my bag a little longer - for the train, the hairdresser, and the waits at the doctor's rooms. It's so much fun.

5 stars



Philippa said...

Bev, thank you so much for this wonderful review of our book. Much appreciated!

Warm wishes,

Bev Bouwer said...

I thoroughly enjoyed it Phillippa. Any chance you're coming to SA in early May? There's a book fair I'm involved in, we'd love you to join us.